On Sunday we had our anniversary observed, which I planned because it's an even year. I took as a loose theme, the theme of pirates, and chartered us a vessel. Well, a canoe. We left before dawn to drive north, to the Delaware water gap, to take an 18-mile canoe trip. The Delaware river is pretty gentle, and the trees were starting to turn gold and crimson and shed their leaves into the water. We saw a lot of geese and ducks, and fish jumping out of the water, and we talked some and listened some, because the water makes things very quiet. And we had a picnic, and a few scenic stops, and at one point I jumped out of the canoe to swim in the cold water. It was very relaxing and idyllic, though also somewhat hard work. By the end of the day my shoulders and back were sore, and my hands a little too, but it was very rewarding.

Afterwards we drove back, which was fun because we were driving past scenery at sundown we had seen at sunup the same day. We had time for a quick shower and then got changed and headed to Buddakan for dinner. The atmosphere inside is beautiful, and the centerpiece of the room is this giant golden buddha, maybe twenty feet tall. We shared everything (I love places that serve food family style), and split a wasabi tuna pizza, lobster egg rolls, crispy duck salad, grilled sea bass, and ponzu chicken. At this point we were too stuffed for dessert, and headed home, where we promptly went to bed because we had gotten up so early. We slept about ten hours last night, and then today was work as usual.

It was really fun. I have to admit that one reason we went canoeing was that I knew that convincing Ben to do it would be hard because of how early we got up, but if I decided for us, it wasn't open for discussion. Heh heh heh. The dinner was great, too, really superb; Philadelphia has this amazing upscale dining scene, but unfortunately we can't afford to go there except on the cheap and for special occasions. I would trade it for the gourmet ghetto in Berkeley, just because I could eat there more frequently, but it is really fun to go have these really inventive dishes at great restaurants. A good example is the wasabi tuna pizza, which was raw tuna, avocado, bitter sprouts, and wasabi on this crispy flatbread with sesame oil and soy dipping sauce. It was delicious, and very interesting. Eating out is a third about the taste, a third about analyzing the cooking, and a third about the experience, or so we were thinking. Though taste is the most important third.

When I see things that are beautiful, or fun, or interesting, I always want strongly to share them with Ben. So it was great to have this wonderful day with him.

ben and me, originally uploaded by clevermynnie.

Six years ago, on a Friday night, was when I met Ben for the first time. We met through chih, talked online a lot, and then he came to Berkeley to meet me. Since then we've both changed, definitely for the better, and I'm happy to say that we've both improved ourselves quite a bit for each other. We were long-distance for almost five years, with a few summers off, and now we've been living together for about a year. Ha, I mistyped that as 'loving together'. :)

I could say a lot of things, and I've said a lot of them a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, four years ago , five years ago. It is incredible to think that I've been with Ben more than a quarter of my life, and yet not, because it's hard to imagine not being with him. For a long time, we loved each other and we were so perfect together, but there was also this element of story. We were apart, it was tragic, and there was this ideal of someday, when we'd be together and live in the same place and cuddle up every night. And it seemed unachievable, and during my last year in Berkeley it started to wear on us, and yet here we are.

There are always more things for us to discover together, and Ben is so knowledgeable and so fun that I really feel I have the perfect companion. I love walking to campus together, watching weird shows together, going places and singing Feeling Groovy about a cemetery or something. I love how last night, as I was reading the New Yorker in bed, he snuggled into my back and fell asleep. I love Ben so much, and I'm so happy! There aren't words, but I don't need them anyways. :)

Maybe you're wondering... what did we do? ( Read more... )

On Friday, I left work early and drove to Monterey. I hadn't been there before, and neither had Ben. We had a great time.

We got in around 6:30 Friday night, and went out to Tabouli's for dinner, a Meditteranean place we found in town. It was pretty good, though the service was a little slow. On Saturday morning, we slept in and then went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which really is the best aquarium I've ever seen. We managed to see lots of feedings, of the sea otters and the turtles and tuna and the sharks and tiny fish in the kelp forest. The jellyfish were fascinating, and they have so many interesting exhibits there with various forms of aquatic life. It leaves you feeling that no other aquarium could possibly be that cool.

We had lunch on the Monterey Recreation Trail, and looked around Cannery Row and took some pictures. The whole place is very picturesque. We went home for a short nap and then went to our early dinner at Fresh Cream, which is a fantastic restaurant. First there was the atmosphere, looking out over the Fisherman's Wharf as the sun set and day faded to night, in a beautiful small room, with excellent service. Then the food; I had a lobster bisque (that was fantastic and spicy and corny), a nice house salad, crispy duck in currant sauce, and a dessert plate for two that Ben and I shared, with amazing vanilla ice cream, really creamy creme brulee, lovely flourless chocolate cake, and this interesting almond wafer. We had a nice merlot that went with the duck really well, and then the meal always ends with a strawberry dipped in liquid sugar, hard and clear and crispy and sweet. It was also great how much Ben talked; he talked about the early days of the internet a lot, which is folklore you don't really hear in physics, and then about French cooking (which he knows much more about than I do), and how authentic the place we went to was, because French cooking is mainly about cooking a piece of meat whole and then garnishing it with a very nice sauce. It was great because it's so hard to get Ben to carry on at length about things, and he just did. :)

We also went to see the Wallace and Gromit movie after dinner, and it was hilarious. I loved it. Go see it.

On Sunday we drove down to Point Lobos, which is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. We hiked around several of the small loop trails, through the cypress grove, down to some beaches, to Bird Island, and to the sea lion viewpoint. It was just amazing, perfect, very nice indeed. :) I really recommend it if you're in that area; we had been considering doing the 17 mile drive later in the day, but ended up staying at Point Lobos instead because it was just so cool. Want to see pictures?

outer bay, originally uploaded by clevermynnie.

The 'outer bay' exhibit at the Monterey Bay Aquarium was SO cool. We chanced on it in time for feeding, and it was awesome to see the giant tuna get up to speed.

( Read more... )

Today is my official four-year anniversary with Ben, which we'll be celebrating this weekend in Monterey. (I had to tell him at least that much so that he could get there.)

In a lot of ways our relationship hasn't changed much; we had a great time over the summer hanging out, cooking, going on hikes and picnics, watching movies, going to museums, eating well. It's great to feel that our communication and understanding of each other just keeps improving, and that makes the relationship even more satisfying to be in. I'm not a person who hides much, but I think it's especially obvious that I'm so happy with Ben, and I love and admire him so much. It's great to be a part of his life and have him in mine.

That said, I'm starting to feel like now we're getting to the tricky part... we've gotten through trials of long distance okay, ironed out a lot of things, but now our lives are getting complicated. My not getting into graduate school was really damaging to us, because I needed so much support after that and Ben felt like the person required to give most of it, and after a while there's only so much you can say. We both mismanaged things there, and the summer was a fortunate chance to talk through that and fix it. But there's the big one looming, of where we will go for graduate school. I obviously really want us to get in to the same school, one that's good for both of us, preferably a few so that we can be really happy, and preferably one where we could both get funding. I'm really worried about how things will actually turn out, though, especially since I don't think I'll have my pick of schools. And while we've done well with distance so far, neither of us really wants it while we're going for our Ph.D.s, and at this point we can only really get further apart, geographically, unless we get in somewhere together.

This is really scary. I don't mind not knowing what school I'll end up at, right now, but I would feel infinitely relieved if I knew I'd be with Ben. Time will tell (three of the most unhelpful words ever).

Sweets, we were so lucky to meet, lucky to be so compatible, lucky to avoid the big traps, lucky to find ways to be together some summers. And it wasn't just luck; we worked hard to be good to each other, to be the people we each wanted to be, and to support and enrich each other's lives. We worked hard to communicate and open up, even when it was uncomfortable, and look what the rewards have been. I'm so happy, and so proud of us.

But here's hoping we're lucky again.

So I'm having to keep all these exciting things from Ben, because they pertain to our anniversary. One of these things is ( ... )

I'm going to tell you a secret. It's about my anniversary with Ben that's in three weeks. ( Read more... )